Humour

How to Drive Your Customers Away from The World Lousiest Bank

February 3, 2010

1. Providing your customer a security token to login to your website, and it can only be collected from a branch.

2. Don’t inform him that once they have the security token, he needs a PIB to login.

3. Let him know that in order to get the PIB number, he is required to visit the branch (again!)

4. Have your call centre executive informed him that he can access the website in 2 hours, but don’t let him know that it won’t happened because the executive don’t know what she was telling him.

5. Let him call back. Let him call back at least 4 times to the call centre, only to let him know that the problem is because the account is link to a previous security token.

6. After all that, let him write an email complaining about the problem and then replying to him by saying “We really need to understand the situation in order to find a solution to the problem.”. And also tell him that “It’s advisable to call your 24 hour Telebanking Service for a quick fix (which is not, by the way)”.

7. Let him cool down on the situation previously and then start to mess up with his credit card account.

8. Billed him in full although he still have a 2 month installment on the account, just because he makes a large payment on his card in December.

9. When he calls in to enquire on the problem, have your customer executive telling him that he shouldn’t be making payment before his statement cutoff date so that it won’t messed up your system. Tell him that it’s his mistake to make the payment. Also let your customer executive lied to him that someone will look into the problem.

10. Wait for him to call again in a weeks time, and tell him that you can’t rectify the problem and he will have to settle the bill. When he said that he wants to cancel his card, get your executive to tell him that he can do that once he has settle the bill. Have him feel that this bank is the world lousiest bank. Period.

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2 Comments

  • Reply tlwong February 3, 2010 at 12:56 pm

    What bank is that ? is damn lousy …i make a complain to PB bank before and their customer service call me in and apologize in less then half and hour , problem solve

    this bank you mention is very lousy service … must write big big complain letter to them

  • Reply JD February 3, 2010 at 1:02 pm

    @tlwong

    It’s not a local bank. Play with the words and you will know. Well at least your bank make an effort, but if you see what happened to me, I don’t think that I will ever get a phone call from them.

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